


Rockin' Around the Conference Room

by plutosrobin



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Family, Found Family, I love them all, Multi, One Shot, Secret Santa, anywayz just a whole lotta holiday fluff, basically the bau is just one big family, cos i still love them, everyone is happy, holiday fluff, very minor jemily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:56:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27727141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plutosrobin/pseuds/plutosrobin
Summary: Penelope Garcia is planning her annual BAU Secret Santa, and her little work family is a lot better at presents than she thought.ORThe BAU does Christmas with some very cheesy and sickeningly sweet holiday fluff.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 6
Kudos: 90





	Rockin' Around the Conference Room

**Author's Note:**

> me? posting yet another criminal minds christmas fanfic? more likely than you thought.
> 
> i'm not exactly sure where in the timeline this would fit but i had this very vivid image of a BAU secret santa party in my head and i couldnt shake it, so please enjoy this very cheesy snippet of this cute little family at the holidays <3

Penelope Garcia absolutely loved Christmas.

Spending the year surrounded by horror after horror was difficult, and it was a well-known fact that the eccentric woman clung to joy in whatever corner she could find it. So, the holiday was naturally one of her favourite occasions, and she put a lot of effort into ensuring that her BAU family shared in the merriment.

Since her second year as a part of the team, she had established a firm and compulsory Secret Santa tradition that was absolutely not optional (no matter how many times Hotch tried to get himself out of it). There was, of course, always a mild amount of chaos around the event, when names were swapped and budgets were exceeded and the truth was accidentally let slip, but it always went ahead. Even one year, when half the team had been stuck out on a case following a blizzard that cancelled their flight, the team still found a moment to set up a group call and at least tell each other what they had gotten.

So, this year had been no different. Garcia spent some free time in her office making little cursive name cards, decorated with doodles of candy canes and gingerbread men that never failed to make her co-workers smile no matter how much they tried to hide it. She folded them all up, dropping them into her favourite octopus mug and marching down to the bullpen triumphantly.

“It is time, crimefighters!” she announced, in her most theatrical gameshow host voice. “assemble in the conference room for the reaping!”

Morgan snickered as he stood up and brushed past her, the rest of the team on his heels. “Could you be more dramatic, baby-girl?”

She shoved him playfully as she bounced past to get to Hotch’s office, knocking twice before popping her head in, too excited to wait for a response. “You ready, sir?”

“We have a case?” He said, a little confused.

“We have Secret Santa, sir.” 

“Ah. Of course. I’ll be with you in a moment Garcia.” He hid his smile until she exited his office. He really did have to get that girl drug tested one of these days.

Five minutes later, and the team were all gathered around the conference table (for a much happier reason than usual). By the time Hotch came in, Garcia was practically bouncing out of her hot pink heels with excitement, immediately setting the mug down in the centre of the table and announcing that Morgan would be drawing first.

His face portrayed no reaction save for a single eyebrow quirking with interest as he looked at the name card he had chosen.

“Based on that reaction, and the way his eyes twitched to the left when he read it, I’d say he has- “

“Reid!” Garcia cut him off indignantly.

“This is what you get for doing Secret Santa with a bunch of profilers, Pen.” Emily laughed.

“You cannot stop this merry train once it has left the station! Pick a name Emily.”

The dark-haired agent rolled her eyes but reached into the mug nonetheless, drawing out a name card and smiling warmly at it.

“Now that makes me think she has- “

“Don’t you even start, David Rossi!” Garcia commanded. She slowly pushed the mug around the room, waiting until everyone had picked a name and trying desperately to quiet their incessant predictions. At last, the mug came to her and she took the last card, unbothered by who she would find written upon it because, whoever it was, she would be sharing a gift with her family. And after all, that was all she really wanted.

\-------------------------------

December 23rd, and the team were gathered again in the conference room for their last meeting before they took a few well-earned days off for Christmas. The work had been finished completely around an hour ago, but the BAU were taking the opportunity for a rare, peaceful moment in their conference room, trading old holiday stories over glasses of some of the fancy whiskey from Rossi’s office.

“What about,” JJ said between breathless laughs, sipping the amber liquid before her. “What about that time we had a Christmas party in the office, and one of the interns managed to catch Spence underneath the mistletoe.”

“Pretty boy over here really started to explain the historical significance of mistletoe to her,” Morgan jumped in. “Poor girl was standing there for 20 minutes waiting for him to kiss her.”

“Hey!” Spencer said, his tone offended but his face betraying his enjoyment with a gleeful smile. “In my defence, she did ask me what mistletoe meant.”

“Kid,” Rossi laughed. “I think she was looking for something along the lines of ‘it means I should kiss you’ instead of whatever it was you said about the way Celtic druids once used it for decoration…”

The laughter trailed off for a moment in the room and Garcia took the opportunity to announce that it was gift time. She had been holding back for quite a while now and simply couldn’t contain her excitement any longer. To keep the mystery alive, they had all stacked their presents in the centre of the table so that nobody would know who had brought what. Penelope knew that everyone would pretty much figure it out once they opened the gifts (again, Secret Santa with profilers was hard) but she still insisted.

“Will you do the honours, sir?” Garcia asked, passing a neatly wrapped gift to Hotch for him to present – another part of their little Christmas tradition. Being team leader, it only seemed right that he should do it.

“This first one is for Rossi. The handwriting looks like- “

“Sir!”

“Sorry, Garcia. Here Dave.”

Rossi took the gift and read the card aloud. “To Dave, from your favourite.” He smirked but said nothing about any suspicions he may have had, unwrapping the gift to find, first, a box containing none other than an inflatable Zimmer frame.

“Whoever this was, you’re definitely not my favourite anymore.” The team laughed as he picked up the two slips of paper that had also fallen out of the package. “And this is… two tickets to Winter Wonderland? For you and your new grandson,” He read, his voice softening. Garcia could have sworn she could see a little sparkle of moisture is his eyes, but he blinked it away quickly and smiled up at the team. “I have my suspicions. But I’ll save them until the end for the sake of our dear Penelope. And thank you. I can’t wait to tell him.” Rossi let his eyes linger for a second on Morgan, nodding silently in appreciation, but luckily Garcia didn’t see the subtle exchange.

Next up was Reid, who pulled out a brand-new chess set with beautifully carved pieces, smiling widely as he read the note aloud. “For our resident genius, because I may die of boredom if I have to play regular chess with you again.” He quirked his head, confused. “But what’s irregular… oh.” He was looking at the bottom of one of the knights he had been twirling between his fingers. “There’s dares on the bottom of each piece,” he said with a grin.

Morgan pumped his fist on the other side of the table. “Now THAT is gonna be fun on the jet.”

Emily took her gift from Hotch next, unwrapping three little items carefully. The first, a little elf costume for Sergio that he would absolutely hate (and she would absolutely love). Second, a moleskin journal with her name printed in red ink on the front and a message on the first page saying “Merry Christmas, super-spy”. The last gift gave it all away though: A bag of the fanciest Italian coffee grounds that Rossi had been talking about not a week ago.

Emily laughed with the rest of the team. “Thanks, Rossi. Has anyone ever told you that you’re a master of disguise?”

The older man shrugged with an easy smile.

Then was Morgan, who first unwrapped a fancy toolbox with a note taped to the top that read “For when you’re renovating all those houses – now you can do it in style.” He laughed as he unwrapped the second, much smaller package, and Garcia couldn’t help but notice Reid barely trying to hold back his own giggles as he waited for Morgan’s reaction. For a boy genius, the kid didn’t have a great poker face.

“Grow your own girlfriend – just add water. Really? Now that’s insulting.” He laughed good naturedly and dropped the little figure in the glass of water at his elbow, much to the amusement of the rest of the team.

Hotch picked up his own gift next, first opening an oddly shaped, squishy package that spilled out 6 little BAU shaped voodoo dolls that (in combination with the whiskey they had all been drinking) had the team in fits of laughter. He read out the note alongside it that the rest of the group barely heard over their own roars. “For when we annoy you a little too much.”

They finally started to calm down as he opened the second package: a mug which stated in bold, black letters – PROUD FATHER OF SEVEN. He stared at it, confused, for a few seconds, before JJ hiccoughed in between laughs that he should turn it around.

There, on the back of the mug, was a picture of the team with a young Jack, taken a few years back by Hotch, when his work family met his home family.

“Of course,” Hotch said, and even he couldn’t fight the grin that took over his face at the sight. “Who knew fatherhood could be so difficult.”

The team erupted into laughs again as Hotch handed Garcia her gift. She noticed that he hadn’t read the label on top – he knew it was for her. Silently praising her own profiling abilities, Penelope tore open the perfectly folded wrapping paper with reckless abandon. Spilling across the table were four different tiny stuffed animals, all of which would go perfectly with her eccentric office décor. She squealed in excitement before noticing a flat square at the bottom on the package. It was an upside-down photo frame with a note taped to the back that read “For when you miss your crimefighters.”

Penelope had to fight back tears as she turned over the frame. The photo had been taken in the office last year by Anderson after the team had solved a particularly hard case. Rossi was stood at the left end, face turned to the side as he smiled warmly at the rest of the team. Emily was next, one arm curled around JJ’s side (who was stood beside her), both of their faces wide with laughter that could almost be heard through the frame. Penelope came after, her shoulder claimed by one Derek Morgan, who had his other arm thrown over Reid’s shoulders. Lastly was Hotch, one of his rare genuine smiles immortalised in the photo.

Garcia loved it.

She smiled up at Hotch wordlessly as he handed the last gift from the pile to JJ, nodding at Penelope like he knew exactly what she was thinking.  
JJ unwrapped the first rectangular package quickly, finding a scrabble box that had her grinning. “Can’t wait to break this out on the jet too,” she said, ignoring Morgan’s groan as she turned to the other, much smaller package. It was a little black box that opened to reveal a beautiful watch. JJ picked it up, mouth open in wonder as she admired it from every angle.

The rest of the team looked back and forth at each other trying to figure out who it was from, but JJ was too focused on staring at the back of the watch, where she found a tiny little engraving of a bird.

A blackbird.

While everyone was distracted, she reached under the conference table and squeezed Emily’s hand, mouthing a silent thank you because she couldn’t figure out what else to say. The darker haired woman just nodded understandingly, and helped the blonde fasten the watch around her wrist.

Rossi grabbed the bottle of whiskey and poured out the last of it into each of their glasses, raising his own a toast that was met by the rest of the team, as they celebrated yet another year together. The night wound on with music and cheers and laughter until they were the only people left in the office, stuffed in a messy conference room that was overflowing with love and wrapping paper.

And as Penelope Garcia looked around the room at her little work family, she couldn’t stop the grin from cracking across her face if she tried.

She really did love Christmas.

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaaand now i'm in a christmas mood. god i love these dorks. anywayz i hope that made at least a little bit of sense to read, i'm not sure if its actually just a jumble of incoherent words but we'll see.
> 
> PS: is my jemily bias showing ;)


End file.
